I found some old letters I'd written to Ethan just after he was born. There are several, but here is the first of them. I will share a new one each day.
The day you were born will certainly be the most unforgettable day in my life. Your dad and I experienced so many different emotions that day, all of them so fierce and consuming. It took me over three hours to push you out and I was able to hold you before they cut the umbilical cord. You were so red and slimy and I will never forget the feeling of your wet skin and your warm body against me - it was one of the sweetest moments of my life. I wanted to hold that moment forever, hold YOU forever.
Grammie and your dad were in the delivery room with me and both watched you come out - your head first, then shoulders, then the rest of you. All three of us cheered, laughed and cried and I realized I had lived my whole life waiting for that moment but at the same time was totally unprepared for and overwhelmed and amazed by how much I loved you already. I wouldn't trade my memory of those few minutes for any single thing in this world.
I spent the first few days at home just staring at you. I barely slept and I did not care - I didn't want to miss a moment. Of course, in the weeks to come, I began to miss sleeping but my exhaustion is a small price to pay to have you in my life. Each time I look at you, I am amazed by your innocence. During my pregnancy I enjoyed being in state of wonder and I am glad to see it continuing into motherhood. I look at you and see an entire lifetime of possibilities - you are so small, yet so significant and so humbling. I just love you. As I write this, you are almost three weeks old and are sleeping in my lap. I look at you and realize how much you have changed and grown in such a short time and I know that the rest of my life will be spent wanting time to slow down so I can have more time to enjoy you.
Cross posted from theslipakoff.blogspot.com