Monday, March 30, 2009

I have missed this...but happily, I haven't had much to say (and yes, I actually consider that a good means that life is sailing smoothly and I am cheerfully busy!). School is keeping me on my toes and being a full-time mom and part-time student are certainly presenting their challenges. Mostly, I miss out on knitting time, reading even just one of the books in my giant stacks I have scattered around the house, chatting with Adam after the kids are in bed and catching up on my favorite tv shows. And I'm learning to survive on very little sleep...if I get 6 hours, that seems to be a lot.

Studying only gets done in the late night hours since I reserve daytime for the little guys, running errands and getting stuff done around the house. I am a bit resentful of my schoolwork tonight, which is unusual since whenever I get bogged down with my work, I redirect my energy to my end goal and that packs quite a punch and is always enough to keep my plowing forward. But after just returning from a four day ski trip, I was really looking forward to putting little Eli to bed. Getting home and settled in took longer than anticipated (doesn't it always?), and since it was eeking into my study hours (exam tomorrow, trying to keep my A average!), I had Adam do it instead so that I could get some studying in. I missed out on snuggling with my little man, who seems to look so much older after only four days (how and why does that happen!?). Consoling myself with the thought that I can sneak my snuggles in tomorrow and frustrated with my schoolwork (precalculus. seriously. me. numbers.) I took a quick break and checked my email on my phone.

A dear friend of mine (Amanda, I've talked about her before), had emailed me to update me on the latest with a blog that she and I follow. (Admittedly I think she follows it more closely than I do, but there was a time not long ago that I was reading MckMama's blog daily, sometimes more often than that. Without going into the details, I'm going to do something extraordinarily uncharacteristic of me...I'm asking, if you have stayed with my blog despite it's sad lack of updates, (which I promise to try to remedy), please visit MckMama's blog and pray for this family and for sweet Stellan. I'm not a public praying, prayer requesting kind of gal...I pray alright and I love to pray, I just like to allow myself and others the privacy of their prayers...but I'm making an exception in this case. Stellan captured my heart last year when I was introduced to his blog and I am hoping for a good outcome for him and his family and it isn't looking good. I knew that after reading about his worsening condition, simply turning off my computer and going to bed wasn't going to be sufficient.

Prayers for Stellan

Oddly (or not), I was thinking about MckMama just yesterday. It has probably been several months since I've read her blog and how strange (or not) that she was on my mind just a day ago. When I learned of Stellan's worsening condition, I cried as if I know him. I don't, but part of me feels like I do. And then I berated myself thinking about how arrogant and naive (and frankly, pretty stupid) it was to hand Eli over to Adam at bedtime, so confident in thinking that I can just get my snuggles in tomorrow. And more than likely, I absolutely will. But life has no such guarantees and I know better. I shouldn't require a reminder. And I think I will not wait for tomorrow to do better...on my way out of my office and downstairs to bed (at this horrid hour of 2:37 a.m.), I think I'll stop by his room and soak him in for a bit.

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