Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tales From a House of Chaos

Somehow, I was under the crazy, misguided impression that now that I'm not in school, that life would be calm and quiet.  Not sure where I got that idea, but clearly that line of thinking was a rookie mistake.

Trying to run a smooth household, driving the boys back and forth to school and to Ethan's activities (soccer and cub scouts), tending to synagogue responsibilities, plus having time for Adam (and maybe even a little bit for myself) has proved to require artful execution and crisp choreography. 

Though school has been in session for over 3 weeks, this is our first "real week" in terms of having to do the whole sha-bang: be at practices, attend cub scout meetings, turn in homework, plus juggle my own activities and commitments.

During all the racing about, somewhere in between strapping Eli in his car seat to do nothing but tag along with me, helping with math homework and throwing dinner at Ethan on the fly, I've managed to learn a thing or two.

What've I learned?

...that Eli is a complete and utter nightmare to take to soccer practice.  He hates being there even more than I hate having to manage him there.  Sounds pretty mean, right?  Well, it's not.  First, all the other parents must have older kids because they all sit in their chairs, sipping cold water and leafing through magazines while watching practice.  I, on the other hand, am dripping with sweat and cursing under my breath as I chase after Eli who has gone onto the field for the 116th time while he screams Ethan's name.  There is a playground, which I took Eli to, where I was successfully able to occupy approximately 14 minutes of our time before I realized that the language coming from the "big boys" on the playground was entirely inappropriate for Eli to be exposed to.  What I want to know is where kids hear these words and furthermore, how they know how to use them in the proper context.  Thankfully, the coach's daughter adores Eli and was fantastic with him for the time that he would let her entertain him.  So, since Eli's just at that hard-to-entertain-and-contain age, I'm considering bringing along the DVD player next Monday.  And also maybe a straight jacket.

...that you should never, ever put a half pound of cooked pasta down the garbage disposal.  Ever.  And that having a friend that's also a plumber is a good thing.

...that your two-year-old shouldn't empty his little potty into the big potty by himself.  Unless you plan to wash your floors that day.

...and that as a mom, you're never enough of a veteran to keep from making rookie mistakes.

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