Friday, September 10, 2010

Tales from the house of germs

This week was one of those weeks...
...Eli had some sort of nasty bug, which luckily came and went quickly.
And just when I was feeling relieved 
that he was better so quickly,
Adam came down with the nasty bug.
Whilst taking care of Adam, I got it too, 
but thankfully to a lesser degree...and while I was nursing myself and Adam back to health,
while trying to keep Eli from getting something new, 
Ethan came down with strep throat.
I was ready to throw in the towel.
I really was.

And then Ethan came along and made me laugh.  
And laugh.  (And blush and giggle.)

First, while I was curled up in bed, 
he came in very serious 
and stood by my bedside. 
He began, "I know you told me babies grow from a seed.  
But HOW does the seed get there in the first place?"  

uh.

"Well," I said, "It just grows in there.  Into a baby."

Ethan: "I know all about that!  But how does it even get to a place to start to grow!?  How does a mommy and a daddy plant it!?"

oh boy...

"Um.  Uh.  Well.  You see...um."  

Now, I'm perfectly content sharing the real story, 
but am guessing that all of the parents
of Ethan's little first grade friends
would NOT be so content for me to share the real story.
To be honest, I might be better off sharing the real story
because I doubt Ethan would even believe it.

So, I continued with my vague version of the explanation
which was that a mommy and a daddy plant the seed
a special way when they get married. 

I know.  It was a bad version of the story.
Really bad.
But I was sick.
And couldn't come up with anything more clever.

Ethan looked at me like I was a moron.
"You know, Mommy, some people don't even have babies
when they get married," contempt filling his voice.
I'm pretty sure he also mumbled something about me not knowing what I was talking about while he stomped out of the room.

*****

Just when I think that he is all grown up,
I wander into the playroom
and catch site of something under the couch
that doesn't belong.
When I investigate,
I find the object in question
is a syringe half-full
of Ethan's antibiotic for his strep.
When I find him, I ask why on earth
his medicine was under the couch. 

His answer was simple: 
"I didn't like the way it tasted."

Me: "So you hid it under the couch?!"

Ethan: "That's right."

*****

Just now, as I was getting ready to post this,
Ethan came running into the kitchen
demanding to know what an "ascot" is.
I told him and then he looked at me like I was crazy.

And then I realized he said "mascot".
That makes way more sense.

2 comments:

Doriana Chase said...

That reminds me of the time you asked me "How exactly does the baby get into the mommy's tummy?" Your stupid child-free aunt (me) told you exactly how it all worked. You asked if there was any other way, just in case you and your husband didn't want to do THAT. Want me to call Ethan?

Auntie Donna

Cori said...

I didn't know you were a blogger! Love this post - made me chuckle! :)